Sunday, January 6, 2008

10 ways to suffer on Molokai (a repost, dunno where original is)

10 ways to suffer living on Molokai

  1. You’re related or indirectly related to everyone on the island
  2. You’re public shouting match with is ready for broadcasting in the coconut wireless
  3. No 24 hour convenience stores – die in your nicotine addiction til the morning (or risk making at an ass out of yourself by calling your friend for one at 2pm in the morning)
  4. No 24 hour eating establishments – go to sleep starving (or your drunk ass can attempt cooking something that requires 4-6 hours defrosting)
  5. No fucking cable TV because you live in a remote homestead land area
  6. No fucking high speed internet because you live in a remote homestead land area
  7. Work for a neurotic tyrant that has major DELUSIONS and rates your work performance via rumors on your personal life
  8. You actually wouldn’t mind paying for rent or a high fucking mortgage (but cannot because you’re credit is fucked) because the relatives you live with has MAJOR PROBLEMS THAT MANIFEST IN EARLY MORNING AGRUMENTS INTERRUPTING YOUR FUCKING SLEEP SEVERELY AFFECTING YOUR JOB FOR THE DAY AND EVERY DAY THAT THAT SHIT HAPPENS
  9. You’re related or indirectly related to every potential on the island – REQUEST A DAMN GENEAOLOGY BEFORE FUCKING SAID PERSON
  10. Every potential mate not directly or indirectly related to you is UNAVAILABLE – NO SEX FOR YOU ANYTIME SOON, SAVE UP FOR THAT 14 DAY VACATION IN LAS VEGAS (Because the flight is cheap, but still, REQUEST FOR THE DAMN GENEAOLOGY – GET PLENNY MOLOKAI PEOPLE OVA DEA)
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