LISTS OF 10 THINGS

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Top 10 “grunge” era songs (well the ones that take me back)

1. Your quick attention to this matter will be greatly appreciated

2. Your timely response to this urgent matter will gain admiration and respect in my eyes.

3. Your cooperation and timely approval is essential to the survival of this project.

4. Your signature on the procurement document is needed as soon as possible.

5. Patiently awaiting your response.

6. Procrastination is not an option, action is needed now.

7. Time is of the essence, please respond upon receipt of this email.

8. A responding email to this request will not be enough, please call me on my direct line.

9. Your timeliness to this matter will surpass my expectation of you.

10. Please hurry the fuck up. Mahalo for your cooperation.

10 ways to suffer living on Molokai

You’re related or indirectly related to everyone on the island
You’re public shouting match with is ready for broadcasting in the coconut wireless
No 24 hour convenience stores – die in your nicotine addiction til the morning (or risk making at an ass out of yourself by calling your friend for one at 2pm in the morning)
No 24 hour eating establishments – go to sleep starving (or your drunk ass can attempt cooking something that requires 4-6 hours defrosting)
No fucking cable TV because you live in a remote homestead land area
No fucking high speed internet because you live in a remote homestead land area
Work for a neurotic tyrant that has major DELUSIONS and rates your work performance via rumors on your personal life
You actually wouldn’t mind paying for rent or a high fucking mortgage (but cannot because you’re credit is fucked) because the relatives you live with has MAJOR PROBLEMS THAT MANIFEST IN EARLY MORNING AGRUMENTS INTERRUPTING YOUR FUCKING SLEEP SEVERELY AFFECTING YOUR JOB FOR THE DAY AND EVERY DAY THAT THAT SHIT HAPPENS
You’re related or indirectly related to every potential on the island – REQUEST A DAMN GENEAOLOGY BEFORE FUCKING SAID PERSON
Every potential mate not directly or indirectly related to you is UNAVAILABLE – NO SEX FOR YOU ANYTIME SOON, SAVE UP FOR THAT 14 DAY VACATION IN LAS VEGAS (Because the flight is cheap, but still, REQUEST FOR THE DAMN GENEAOLOGY – GET PLENNY MOLOKAI PEOPLE OVA DEA)